Sold to the highest bidder

Although I have worked in sales positions almost all my life, I don't consider myself a salesman. I'm not good at convincing other people that they need the stuff I'm selling. I do OK with selling them the stuff they already want, but talking them into buying I don't do well.
I am in the process of selling WAAAAAAYYY too much stuff on Ebay, and my lack of schmoozability is showing through in my listings. I don't say things like RARE or the popular L@@K!!, and my descriptions aren't even complete sentences most of the time. They say Stands 4" tall or No chips or cracks.
Yet, even with my lousy descriptions and uninviting titles, the stuff is selling! It's a mystery to me.
I'm beginning to think I could sell things even with descriptions like:
I got sick of dusting this and it's pretty tacky, so I'm pawning it off on you.
Or:
I have no idea where my Mother-in-Law got this hideous thing or why she paid good money for it, but I'm sure you'll be willing to shell out big bucks to own it now.
People from all over the world are scrambling to buy my things. It's incredible. I have to ship to Thailand, Australia and Canada later this week. And I'm not even trying very hard.
Wacky!

PS I mean absolutely no disrespect to my dear, dear friend who saw a covered dish I had listed and didn't want, and now owns it thanks to Ebay.