I've heard women talk about the pain and agony of being pregnant and birthing children, yet they get pregnant and birth children again. They say that after awhile you forget the pain and decide it really wasn't so bad after all, so you are willing to do it all again. I think that's what I do about working.
I foolishly agreed to help out at the floral for the week leading up to Valentine's Day. I decided when I would work and left for home hours before the regulars, but even so, I really hated it. I pick up on the stress vibe and I come home exhausted and unproductive. I know I'm not the only employee with sick kids, doctor appointments, plumbing leaks, babysitter snafus, missing assignments and sore muscles during the holiday crunch. I realize that there are other designers there who are moms and deal with the things that I did during the few days I worked there. But somehow, I think I become completely inept at home when I fill in at the shop. Other moms can pull it off, but I'm not other moms. Besides, I don't love working with flowers. I'm burned out by it. I'm done with it. Contrary to the prevailing opinion, "playing with flowers all day" is not fun. It's messy, tiring, low paying and unappreciated. And I all too easily get sucked into feeling guilt for not putting in as many hours as the next guy. So the next time I offer to help out at a floral, I asked my son to remind me that I really do hate it. Hopefully I'll believe him.
The fatigue of standing on my feet for hours on end and the lack of empathy from hearing customers explain why they "couldn't possibly have ordered earlier" has gotten me to the point where my nerves are shot. That means I am impatient with my family and snotty to anyone who crosses my path. The upside of this is that it's the perfect time for customer service representatives and telemarketers to call me. I a-b-s-o-l-u-t-e-l-y will not put up with any of their crap, because I'm not being paid to do so. I WILL NOT be bullied, and they may just be very sorry they decided to try to pull anything on me. A very gravelly-voiced man from my mortgage company called today about something my husband cleared up with them yesterday, and despite him sounding like Guido the hitman, he was NOT going to push me around. I wish I was that assertive when I wasn't on my last nerve.
So a nice nap later, I was ready to face the world. And y'know, maybe just helping out for a day or two before Mother's Day wouldn't be so bad.....
Somebody stop me--Please!
3 comments:
And that, my dear, is exactly the reason I told my husband not to get me flowers for Valentine's day. That and the fact that if I want flowers, I want them to come from Costco where I know how much they cost.
AMEN SISTA! I had a fabulous Valentine's holiday because I was celebrating that I wasn't "playing with flowers" eventhough everyone has always wanted that job and thought it would be "soooo fun" to care about wheather flowers were bubble gum pink instead of coral. I had hoped you would have the same celebration I did, but think michy- you can look forward to mother's day- not for the handmade card's- but for the lack of flowers!
I am so glad you are moving here. We will all NOOOOO problem using up your time before holidays so you will not even have 10 seconds to even THINK about working with flowers! And soon, very soon, you too will be enjoying holidays again--as you should.
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