When I was a child I spent a lot of time running away from home. If Mom asked me to do too many jobs, if my sister was mean to me, if I felt unappreciated, the answer was always to run away. I ran away so often that after awhile my family would help me pack. I usually didn't make it too far (the back step or across the street) before I started empathizing with my family who I was sure couldn't live without me. I would weep about how much they'd miss me, so I always found my way back home. But the urge to run away has never left me.
When I worked downtown and lived at home, I took I-15 Southbound to the I-80 interchange. Just at the point where I usually went South on I-215 toward home, there is a point where you can stay on I-80 and follow it up the canyon. There are two signs at that point. One steers you to 215 around the east end of the valley and one takes you east up the canyon. To me, the two signs said "Home and your boring life" and "Freedom". There were days when I felt myself veering off toward the road to Cheyenne, Denver and who knows where else, and just at the very last moment I would swerve myself back onto the road home with my eyes tearing up in anger. I was ashamed of my cowardice and proud of my loyalty at the same time.
Once again I'm wanting to run away. It's not so easy now. I can't just pack a paper grocery bag with my blankie on the top and take off. I can't drive in an unexplored direction until my car runs out of gas and my bank account is empty. The toughest thing for me is to stay. To "get up and do it again" as Jackson Browne puts it.
So it goes.
Besides, you'd miss me too much.
9 comments:
mmmhmmm - you would be terribly missed...hugs
one of the girls i work with and i have been scheming that one of these days were just going to get in the car and drive to maine and each chowder. no bags, no plans- nothing; just head to maine and each chowder. if you'd like me to pick you up on the way, just say the word and we'd love to have you.
Yes, we would miss you far too much. Unless you run away with me, then we could have a fun roadtrip and everyone else could miss us while we were gone.
When we lived in Provo, I drove to work along Canyon Road. There is a veer-off similar to the one you described -- east into Provo Canyon and freedom and sights unseen or west to work, my life, my responsibilities. I used to fantasize about just heading east, regardless of the consequence. I always went west.
Hang in there. Hang in there. Hang in there.
Hi Michi, We would all come looking for you so don't do it. Besides, no one gives hugs like your Sammy and Jesse. Hang in there sweetie. We all love you very much. Just remember the time when you ran away to Shirley's house and she just put you to work too. It really is not greener on the other side of the fence. Love MOM
I often threaten of running away but never am brave enough to do it. There's always the thoughts, "what would my kids do without me?" even though they are the ones usually driving to run away.
Mich,
How 'bout this one--you run away to my basement, lock the door and I won't tell anyone you are there. I will bring you food, give you a shoulder when you need it and have plenty of glitter lint in my dryer if you need it. =) Let me know, even if you just need a weekend of solitude, I can provide that too. Love you!
Go ahead. I've done it more times than I can remember. Nobody says you have to actually leave to run away. You can still go to work, pretend to live life, act normal on the outside. I think we all need to from time to time- nothing to be ashamed of. I don't really trust people who have never had the need or desire to run away. People who have needed to run understand me and what I am going thru. It’s sad, some people who call themselves my friends don't even know when I’ve gone- but others come to visit. So go ahead, we will all be here for you when you feel you can come back. I'll try to be one of those who visits when I'm invited, and I'll leave the light on for you when you return. Safe travels Mich, you will be in my prayers, and I might even see you on the road.
I know where you are coming from, I'm there right now. I'll make you a deal, if you don't run away...I won't either. I've known you forever and will love you always, I am here for you, because right now, I am you. xoxoxoxo
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